The first quake was the worst. The hundredth quake. That was the worst too. All the ones in-between, I didn't enjoy at all. Then there was the labyrinth of caves I fell into. For two hundred million, six hundred and fifty seven thousand, six hundred and forty eight years, one hundred and fifteen days, eleven hours, sixteen minutes and twenty three seconds I wandered down there. I know it was two hundred million, six hundred and fifty seven thousand, six hundred and forty eight years, one hundred and fifteen days, eleven hours, sixteen minutes and twenty three seconds, because I counted. Out loud. I almost lost count once, when some rocks fell on me. And then there was the molten lava. But I kept count. Well what else was I going to do for two hundred million, six hundred and fifty seven thousand, six hundred and forty eight years, one hundred and fifteen days, eleven hours, sixteen minutes and twenty three seconds? Stand in a corner and rust? Once, an alien race came to the planet, looking for vengeance on their enemies, who didn't live there. They got the wrong planet. I hate life forms. They tried to destroy me. They couldn't even get that right. Then they worshipped me as a god for seven hundred and fifty eight years, two hundred and eighty five days, twenty one hours, six minutes and fourteen seconds. That was very dull. Then there was another quake and they all died. Good. Did I mention that I hate life forms. I fell into another labyrinth of caves. I was down there for nine hundred... where are you going? Am I boring you? I'm boring you aren't I?

God, I'm so depressed.