They'd be safer. She wouldn't be.

He realised that when he woke at the barracks the next morning and remembered why he'd slept there. Because serious people were trying to kill him. Had broken into his house to kill him in his bed. A bed Sophia would share every night if he was his wife.

And then he felt guilty all day, because he knew he'd been thinking only of his own and Jahni's interests, even while he'd been thinking about marrying Sophia.

Why shouldn't he marry her? That wasn't the question he should be asking. He should be asking why he shouldn't in fact break up with her.

"The contractors have finished at my place," Jahni said, as they had lunch later that day.

"Already?"

"There wasn't much to do. There's only the one point of entrance. They've fitted a reinforced door and installed a burglar alarm with pressure sensitive pads. Other than that, they put locks on all the windows, in case someone, I don't know, either gets a very long ladder, or rappels down from the roof. Securing your house is going to be a lot harder."

"I know," Madari said, with a sigh. "I think I'll just stay away and let them do their work. I don't want to see it frankly. And after... well, I'm happy to be away for a few days."

"Well come and have dinner at mine tonight, at least," Jahni said. "Check out the stuff they've put in."

Madari smiled at him. "I'd like that."

~~~

The modifications weren't too intrusive, Madari supposed. The door looked normal, though of course the weight of it gave it away.

"I just hope the place never catches fire," Jahni said. "The firemen would never get through there. I'd have to climb down a drainpipe to escape!" He laughed. "See that wire there?"

Madari saw it. It ran discreetly up the corner of the wall, then along the join where wall met ceiling. It came from somewhere under the carpet and it eventually went to an alarm panel on the wall in Jahni's bedroom.

"I know, the panel is ugly. I'm going buy a small cabinet, knock the back off and cover it with that. It'll be fine."

The only other thing to look at was the window locks. The frames would need repainting after the work.

"It's not too bad, I suppose," Madari conceded, as they went into the kitchen. "I think I'll go home tomorrow and check the progress at my house."

"Good idea. Okay, let's see what we've got to eat." He opened the fridge and started pulling things out. "You're looking too thin these days. Someone needs to feed you up."

"Sophia normally does that."

Jahni stood up and winked at him. "Sophia isn't here."

Madari blushed and looked away. That wink... was just a joke, wasn't it?

They prepared a simple meal and took it to the small dining table in the living room, that stood under the window, with its fine view.

"I've been thinking about Sophia actually, the last few days," Madari said. Jahni didn't look at him, just went on eating. "I keep thinking about what would have happened if she'd been there with me that night." He didn't have to explain which night.

"You'd have protected her," Jahni said, without hesitation.

"Of course.... but I can't help but think of the danger to her, being connected to me."

Jahni looked at him. "Does she stay over at your house often?"

"No, perhaps only once every two weeks. But our... association is no secret. What if she was targeted because of that? Even in her own home, or while out? Or if she was used against me?"

Jahni nodded. "It is a possibility."

Madari rubbed his eyes. "She's not supposed to be part of.... part of that aspect of my life. She's a woman, not a soldier. With her, I can escape that for a few hours."

Jahni looked down, placing his teacup back on its saucer carefully. "You feel you need to escape the military part of your life?"

Did that hurt him? Madari wondered, trying to read that in his eyes. Jahni was part of the military side of Madari's life. But he wasn't restricted to it. He crossed over to the personal side too. An important part of both. The most important part.

"I'm not saying I want to escape from you, Kahil. I need you in every part of my life."

"Every part?"

"Ah... yes." Such a look Jahni was giving him, eyes heavy lidded, chin resting on his hand now, elbow resting on the table. "But the thought of my career putting Sophia in danger is unacceptable to me. It's made me wonder if I should break up with her."

Jahni caught himself as his elbow slipped off the table and he jerked back in his chair.

"Are you all right?" Madari asked, frowning.

"Ah, yes. Slipped." He rubbed his elbow. "Are you serious? About breaking up with her?" He sounded amazed. Amazed and... anything else? If he was happy, or otherwise about it, he kept that hidden, showing only surprise so far.

"I'm considering it."

Jahni continued to stare for a moment, then looked thoughtful, and seemed about to speak, but shook his head. Did Madari want his thoughts on this? Perhaps not, since Jahni could hardly help but have a vested interest here, couldn't give him impartial advice. He was the one who'd told Madari not to break up with her over that last incident, perhaps not wanting to be the one to cause the break up, risking Madari's anger and resentment.

They finished eating in silence, both deep in thought. To say it aloud like that, when so far he'd only thought about it, made the idea feel more real to Madari. Made him start picturing his life without Sophia. He wouldn't say he depended on her, but certainly it would leave a gap in his life that he didn't know how he would fill. Sex of course. But as he'd said, also a way to escape to a different world, her world. Where could he look for that now? Not from Jahni. He looked around from staring out of the window to see Jahni watching him. No. Not from Jahni. He'd made that clear... hadn't he? Lately Madari could only wonder if he'd changed his mind.

Well, it didn't matter if he had. It couldn't happen. They couldn't risk their careers. They had too much important work to do. Terrorist activity was growing, here and in the whole region. The country and the monarchy needed their protection. It would be... reckless to risk disgrace and the loss of their careers. It would be selfish to deprive the Army and the country of their training and experience, especially Jahni's.

He started to gather up the plates and cups and Jahni came out of his trance and helped. They took the things to the kitchen, and Madari ran hot water in the sink.

"You don't have to..." Jahni began, but then shrugged and picked up a towel to dry as Madari began washing up.

Their talk turned more general for a while, of work and Army gossip, until they were done. Jahni took the dried dishes and cups and reached up to the shelves he kept them on. A small sigh escaped Madari, at the sight of him stretching up. He wanted to run his hand right from Jahni's hand - he'd be able to reach, he was the taller after all - down his arm, his shoulder, his broad, muscular back.

Jahni turned back to him, a look of concern on his face when he heard the sigh.

"Are you okay?"

"What... yes... just, er, wondering why you keep those on such a high shelf when you use them so often."

"Keeps me stretching," Jahni said, "helps keep me from getting stiff."

"Oh, good, er, keep it up, Captain."

Jahni chuckled, and gave him a slightly sly look. "Would you like me to take them down again?"

"What? No... no, thank you, that's fine." He cleared his throat, thinking he sounded rather hoarse and rearranged the detergent bottle and the scrubbing sponge on the draining board, then gave the taps an extra turn off, to keep them from dripping.

"Thanks."

Madari jumped, because Jahni was at his side suddenly. That ability to move like a ghost still startled Madari. He hadn't heard a footstep, even on the linoleum floor. Jahni put a hand on his back, smiling.

"Sorry, didn't mean to make you jump."

"Kahil, I swear, if you'd been the man breaking into my house, I wouldn't have heard a thing until you were standing over me. And probably only then if you woke me up deliberately."

Jahni smiled. He was too close, Madari thought. His hand was a little too low on Madari's back. He should step away now.

"I wouldn't be sneaking into your house to shoot you," Jahni said, barely more than a whisper leaning in to speak into Madari's ear. "And I'd hope that you wouldn't want to keep me out."

"Kahil..." Before he could say 'stop', Jahni's lips brushed against his, softly at first, but they would press more firmly in a moment, Madari knew, if he responded, if he allowed it.

He didn't allow it, couldn't.

"No," he said, stepping back, so that Jahni's hand left his back. "Kahil, we agreed we aren't going to do this, not even just the kissing. We agreed that in this very room."

"Because of Sophia," Jahni said.

He didn't move closer to Madari, but his voice had a low and husky tone. Damn, the voice, the power it had to soothe and reassure Madari wasn't its only power. He's trying to draw me in with the voice. Resist it.

"We agreed because of Sophia," Jahni went on. "But you said you're going to break up with her."

"I said I'm considering it, that's all." He frowned. "Are you trying to make that happen now, Kahil? Is that what this... the rest, the flirting is about? That's not fair on her or me."

"How is any of this fair on any of us?" Jahni snapped and then looked at the floor. "I'm sorry."

"What are you afraid of? That I'll marry her?"

Jahni shrugged, not speaking.

"If I did, do you think it would change anything? About our situation? Married or not, you know we can't..."

"It would change everything!" Jahni shouted the words, startling Madari into silence. "You can't pretend that it would simply be an... an arrangement. You care about her."

"Yes, I do. But..."

"Perhaps this time you'll at least tell me about the marriage, I think you owe me that much."

Madari winced, remembering the night Jahni had found out about his ex-wife. Still, he wouldn't let Jahni's bitter tone make him feel guilty. It made him angry.

"That was uncalled for, Kahil."

Jahni folded his arms, the scowl clearing from his face to be replaced with a flat-eyed, closed-off look.

"I think you should leave," Jahni said, voice no longer husky and warm, but icy. "I'm tired. I'm going to bed now."

"Of course. I'll see you at the barracks tomorrow." Madari turned to leave the kitchen.

"Yes, sir."

The 'sir' this time was no mark of respect, but rather a slap in the face.

~~~

"Good morning, sir," the clerk said, coming into Madari's office, with coffee, messages and the morning report. "Here early."

Madari nodded, taking the coffee. He'd spent the night at the barracks again. Well, he'd have to bite the bullet and go home tonight. He heard movement in the outer office and glanced through the door to see Jahni coming in.

"Thank, you, Corporal, dismiss." Madari began to check through his messages, sorting them into calls to return, action items, filing. He sighed. Paperwork. Well, at least paperwork didn't get you shot at. A movement at the door caught his eye and made him look up. Jahni stood there, a hand raised to tap on the open door, and a sheepish look on his face. "Come in, Kahil."

Jahni did. And he left the door open, surprising Madari. He stood in front of the desk, at ease only the technical sense of his stance. His face looked far from at ease.

"I'm sorry about last night." His voice stayed quite neutral. "My actions were unacceptable. It won't happen again."

His formality and stiffness made Madari frown in puzzlement. But perhaps they were as much the message as his words. He was accepting that their lives and careers were too important to risk for momentary pleasures. He was putting duty first.

"Thank you, Captain." Madari matched the formal tone. "Your apology is accepted, the matter is forgotten."

Pain crossed Jahni's face then, though he banished it quickly. Which could only make Madari worry that this might be strong resolve now, but how long would it last? Especially if Madari did break up with Sophia. But he could hardly stay with her on the grounds of keeping himself off-limits to Jahni, not if continuing to see her put her in danger. Better that he and Jahni risked the danger to their careers than Madari risk her life.

"Sir?" The clerk said, hesitating at the door, not wanting to intrude on the officers. "I'm sorry to interrupt. Colonel Rahama's secretary asks if you could please give the Colonel a few moments of your time, at your earliest convenience."

Madari rose at once and Jahni nodded to him and turned smartly and headed back to his desk. By the time Madari put on his jacket and left, Jahni was apparently deeply enthralled with the morning report and didn't look up as Madari passed.

~~~

"Ah, Faris, take a seat, please," Rahama said, when Madari reported. "You'll have some tea of course?"

"Yes, thank you." Of course. It would never do for there to be too much blood in his caffeine stream. "What can I do for you, sir?" The formality missing the other night when they spoke at his home came back, here in the Colonel's office. He expected that Rahama was probably going to ask about the security work on the officers' homes. But what Rahama said next took him entirely by surprise.

"I've received a job offer for you."

Madari blinked, not understanding. "Sir? Ah, I already have a job."

Rahama chuckled. "Indeed. And you're very good at it too. But this is a temporary position." He smiled at Madari's confusion. "Let me explain. I had dinner last night with Iqbal Hathat, do you know him?"

"Our ambassador to the United Nations? Yes, I've met him a few times at official functions."

"He's a good man. Old friend of mine from school days. Anyway, he asked me to offer you command of a six month U.N. mission in Africa, Zaire, actually, carrying out an investigation into allegations of torture by local government forces. You'd be working for the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights." He raised his hand when Madari started to speak. "Hathat asked for you specifically, Faris. Not only because of your command abilities in the field of course, but also he knows you have a personal... um, interest." His gaze flickered to Madari's hands, only for a second, but the glance made Madari curl his fingers into his palm.

Madari didn't know what to say. It was a great compliment to be asked of course. And UN work served an officer's career well these days. And of course he had a personal interest. Torture... he should have done more against it, campaigned more, given charity to organisations dedicated to stamping it out... and he should never have allowed himself to be guilty of perpetrating it, whatever the motive.

But six months, away from the unit, away from Jahni, six more months away from Sophia... Well, that last one would at least let him put off deciding what he did about their relationship now.

"You can take an officer with you, if you wish," Rahama said. "But, if you're thinking of Captain Jahni, well perhaps I can persuade you differently."

"Sir, I'm not sure if I should be away from the unit for so long."

"Actually, this could be perfect timing. Mr Jahni needs bringing along more in a command position. With you gone he'll have the space to develop that. With you here, even if you tell him to take more initiative, he'll always defer to you first."

"He's a very loyal officer."

"Indeed. Admirably so. But I think he needs to make more independent decisions."

"Do you think I hold him back?" Madari didn't like the implication of that. He remembered what Hannibal had said, that Jahni would move on eventually to a command of his own. Would this hasten that? But Jahni's career was more important to Madari than his own, and he couldn't stand in the way of that. If he had to stand a long way off to get out of the way, then so be it.

"No, I wouldn't say you hold him back. But he is very much tied to you, Faris. It's felt among the senior colonels that it would be hard for him to accept being under the command of anyone but you." He smiled. "Or, temporarily, me. Of course, he is the specialist in anti-terror work, not me. I only provide, shall we say, a backup."

Imagining Jahni under the command of any of the other colonels in the regiment made Madari quite sick. The same went for the whole of the unit, but it didn't sound as if Rahama was about to second any of them to take over the unit, but rather to put Jahni in charge.

"You'll have Jahni reporting directly to you?"

"Exactly."

Rahama was right, the timing was perfect. If Jahni was confused and distracted about their relationship, and risking his career because of that, then they would be best apart. And the extra responsibility would refocus Jahni's mind on his work, making him remember how important it was.

"Frankly, my dear friend," Rahama said, his voice more serious now. "I'd be glad to see you out of the country for a while. That attempt on your life shook me, I freely admit. I'd like to see you somewhere safely out of reach of these fanatics."

"Facing danger is all part of my duty."

"That doesn't mean I have to be happy about it. Think it over and come and see me when you've decided. Talk to Captain Jahni, and tell him to ask to see me if he wants to discuss the details of how things will work if you do go. I'll make the time for him." He rose and Madari did too. "Now, I have a meeting to go to. I'll see you later."

Madari walked back to his office almost in a daze. Zaire? He'd have to get the atlas out to even see where it was. Yet this could be perfect. Perfect timing. A perfect opportunity to give them both time to come to their senses.

He just got the feeling Jahni might not see it that way.

~~~

"Zaire?" Jahni stared across the desk at Madari.

"It's very flattering to be asked. The Colonel said the Ambassador recommended me specifically. And it's going to be a great opportunity for you, to develop your command skills. Colonel Rahama wants you reporting to him directly." He waited for a second, looking into Jahni's thunderstruck face, then went on. "The extra responsibility will be a chance for you to prove yourself, Kahil. There are still officers in the regiment who look down on you, think you're not Royal Guard material. They are wrong of course, and this is your chance to show them just how wrong they are." He hesitated again, and this time Jahni did finally speak again.

"Zaire?"

Madari waved his hand impatiently. "Should I go for lunch while I wait for your mouth to catch up with what I just said?"

Jahni shook himself. "I'm sorry, but I... I can't quite believe what I'm hearing." He glanced up at the open door to the office and rose to close it, looking at Madari for permission. Madari hesitated a second, but then nodded his assent. Jahni closed the door and leaned against it. "You're talking about being away for six months."

"Yes. As you were when you did your training with the SAS."

Jahni winced and spoke quietly. "And every day of that six months, I missed you."

"Captain..." His voice held a warning.

Jahni looked down, spoke again. "Will you be able to visit home at all?"

"I don't know. The location sounds quite remote." He rested his hand on the information Rahama had sent down for him to study. Madari had read it over and then called Jahni into his office. Every word Jahni spoke now only convinced him that accepting this offer was the right choice.

"What about phones? Will we be able to speak?"

"I... don't know, the phone network is probably quite primitive." It was why they needed a commander experienced in the field, he knew, not just a manager, who could call in for orders. They needed someone with Madari's background of acting on his own initiative and authority. For a while he'd wondered if the Ambassador had requested him simply because he was a friend of Rahama's. The information he'd read had changed his mind on that.

"What about Sophia?" Jahni asked. "What's she going to think of this?"

"I don't know." This was true. Her likely reaction was a mystery to him. Would she see it as an attempt to avoid dealing with their new situation? Or would she understand when he told her this was his duty? Of course he couldn't fully explain one of the reasons he felt that.

"Kahil, sit down, please." Jahni looked at him for a moment and then walked over and sat on the sofa at the other side of the room. That hadn't been what Madari meant and he had to resist the urge to snap out an order for him to get over here right now. But he understood. Jahni wanted them to talk as friends, wanted to hear the real reasons. Because Madari hadn't given them to him yet, not all of them.

So he rose from the desk and went to sit beside Jahni. He didn't settle into the seat the way Jahni did, sat close to the edge leaning forward, not looking at Jahni.

"I want to go because of Private Drai. Because I... allowed a man to be tortured, despite my own experience. I can never be forgiven for that. It cost me a good friend. It cost me my honour. I can never be forgiven, but perhaps this mission can help me to atone."

Jahni didn't reply, but he rested his hand on Madari's back. Different from when he'd touched him like that last night. That had been sexual. This was only support, the same support their friendship had been built on. Madari looked back at him and smiled.

"Could I come with you?" Jahni asked, quietly. "Are you able to pick your own team?"

"You could come," Madari said. "But I don't think it's a good idea. You'd miss the opportunities here that my absence will give you and also..."

He moved to sit facing Jahni, perhaps a little close, making him look nervous.

"Also, I want you to imagine us far away from here, out of touch with our own culture and its rules. Far away from the regiment and from the eyes that watch us all day. Far away from Sophia."

"I... I'm imagining it..."

"And what do you see happening?"

Jahni blushed and looked away. Madari reached out and with a quick movement, brushed his fingers through Jahni's hair.

"You can't come with me, because if we've been so close to giving in to temptation even here, then I know for sure if we were there together, something would happen."

"I'm not sure that's convincing me as an argument for not going." Jahni turned to look at him, and Madari's fingers that had run through his hair touched his face now, stroked down his cheek then moved away. Jahni smiled. "Perhaps we could dream for six months?"

It was certainly a temptation. Somehow, out there, it wouldn't be real, wouldn't count. A dream, like the one Jahni had offered before. But Madari shook his head.

"We'd come home to a nightmare."

End Part 24