Jahni stood in front of the desk that he could only call his for the rest of the day. He frowned at his gathered officers. Not that he was angry with them, but he'd learnt that the frown effectively said 'Today I am still your CO, not your friend.' Tomorrow he'd stop frowning. At least, at them.

"The Colonel will be back tomorrow and I want the unit in top shape for him. All offices, barracks rooms, training areas, stores, to be cleaned. All equipment to be in full working order and spotless. All paperwork up to date."

A couple of them glanced at his In tray and Jahni suppressed a wince. Yes, he had plenty of work to do too.

"I'll do full uniform and kit inspections this afternoon. Decide among yourselves who'll supervise what." Delegation encouraged initiative, Madari had taught him. The unit was ready for inspections at any time of course. But he wanted them in better than the best shape for Madari's return in the morning.

Ultimately, Madari would care more about the work they'd done for the last six months, than about sparkling floors and tidy desks and Jahni could only stand by his actions during that time. But to have the place in perfect condition ready for the handover would give Jahni a sense of closure.

"Gentlemen," he said, softening his stern demeanour. "It's been an honour to be your commanding officer, even temporarily. I'll be giving good reports about all of you to Colonel Madari. Now, let's go and get the place ready for him. Dismiss."

He sat behind the desk as they rose, chairs scraping, talking among themselves, sorting out who'd take charge of what work. One man remained when the others left. Lieutenant Raian, one of the first officers to join the unit after its formation.

"Sir," Raian said when Jahni looked at him questioningly. "I have a request from my father. He said he'd very much like to meet the colonel."

"For any specific reason?"

Raian laughed, somewhat sheepishly. "I do, ah, talk about him a lot when I visit home."

Jahni smiled. He couldn't argue about that. If he'd still had a family home to visit he knew he'd do the same. "I'll ask him tomorrow."

"Thank you, sir." Raian left and Jahni looked at the stack of paperwork in his in-tray. Right. He picked up a pen and clicked the button on top in a slow, deliberate action. Locked and loaded. Between him and his clerks in the outer office they could conquer the stack of paperwork.

~~~

Madari tapped on the door to Sophia's flat at eleven-thirty that morning. He carried a bunch of flowers and felt much refreshed after a good night's rest and sleeping late that morning.

Sophia already knew he was on his way up, since he'd buzzed the intercom to gain entry to the block, so answered his knock almost instantly. He stepped inside, holding out the flowers.

"For you, my dear."

She didn't speak, just threw her arms around his neck and kissed him hard. When he recovered from the shock of that, he returned the kiss and put his arms around her, one hand held awkwardly because of the flowers.

After a moment, she stepped away, blushing, raising a hand to cover her smile. Madari was blushing himself, skin tingling with heat, his body warm and very wide awake now.

"Goodness," he said. "If that's what I get for the flowers, I can't wait to give you your gift."

She giggled, a girlish sound he hadn't heard her make very often. He liked the change from her usual cool and sophisticated personal. He liked that he could disturb her poise.

"I've been waiting to do that since the airport yesterday," she said, taking the flowers. "And if we'd been in Rome I could have."

"Different rules here, I'm afraid."

"I know. Never mind. Let me look at you." She looked him over, and he returned the gaze, intrigued by her outfit - a gauzy, white dress that stopping just above her knees. Her legs, very nicely tanned, were bare and she wore simple flat sandals. Not at all her usual tailored look, and certainly not something she'd wear outside. Too much of her arms and legs on show than would be acceptable in public. Madari found it entirely acceptable.

"Sophia, you look beautiful," he said. "I believe you've changed your hairstyle."

"Oh you noticed at last," she said in a mock affronted tone.

"It looks very nice."

She put down the flowers and stepped up to him again, sliding her arms around his waist, turning her face up. He ran his fingers through her soft hair, in its new shorter, less structured style.

"And you, my dear Faris, are very lean and tanned and handsome. Mmm, a little too lean." She touched his face. "But I'm still not sure about the beard."

"A man of my age and position should have a beard."

"But you told me you can't have one because of your work. The whole gas mask thing."

"I'm not in the thick of it, like Kahil. I haven't had to wear a gas mask in years."

"Oh... well, perhaps I could get used to it. It does look quite distinguished, I suppose." She could barely hide her doubt though and he could barely hide his smile. Despite what he said, he fully intended to shave the beard off. But teasing her and Jahni for a couple of weeks could be amusing.

She sighed and rested her head on his chest. He kissed her hair and stroked his fingers down her back.

"I've missed you, Faris. And I feel to blame for you going."

"You're not to blame. Or we both are, but I'm home now. And I missed you too." It surprised him how much, how much time he'd spent daydreaming about her.

"We have to talk about some things," she said, stepping back. "But we'll eat first."

"All right," he said, more keen on the eating than the talking. Movement made him look down to see Giotto nosing around his feet and he bent to pick the cat up. "Well, hello, my old friend."

"I think he's missed you too," Sophia said. "I hear you were his catnip supplier while I was away."

"I was indeed." Madari laughed as they walked into the living room, her carrying the flowers, him carrying the cat. "I'm pained to think he had an ulterior motive for welcoming my visits."

"All that cat's motives are ulterior."

~~~

Jahni had cramp in his hand from writing - which was ridiculous. What kind of heroic soldierly injury was that? He didn't do Selection to get writer's cramp.

A glance at the clock showed him it was close to noon now. He'd lowered the blinds to keep out the sun's glare. He wanted his lunch, but should finish reviewing these requisitions first. Didn't want another mix up like last month. You'd think the supply officer would have checked if the unit really intended to order a hundred cases of ammunition of a calibre that didn't fit any of their weapons.

He glanced up at the cabinet on the wall that held the Heckler and Koch G3 Madari had carried in their guerrilla days. The ammunition would have fitted that. Perhaps Supply thought Madari intended to wage a one-man war.

He walked over to the cabinet, to take a closer look at the rifle. It still worked, though had a tendency to jam now, and it would be dangerous to rely on in battle. But Madari had a sentimental attachment to it. He kept it here, since it was less aesthetically pleasing than his grandfather's old rifle that hung on the wall of the house. Despite its battered and scratched surface Jahni found the G3 quite a handsome weapon. Good lines. Images of the old days came back to him, of the rifle cradled in Madari's arms, and he reached up to open the cabinet, wanting to touch it.

"Captain?"

"What?" Jahni snapped, turning to see one of his clerks at the door of the office.

"Ah, if you're done with the requisitions, I can run them over to Supply."

"Ten minutes," Jahni said, striding back to the desk and pulling a folder towards him. He shook out his sore hand and picked up the pen to start signing again.

~~~

Madari and Sophia finished their lunch and took coffee into the living room. She had done the cooking herself, or at least finished the cooking and served the meal, which meant her housekeeper must be out. They were alone.

"Would you like to see some photographs?" Madari said, when they were settled on the sofa. "Karen, um, Lieutenant Bennett took quite a lot. I thought you'd like to see some of them."

"All right," she said, looking mildly put out, perhaps guessing correctly that he was trying to put off the talk she said they had to have. He took an envelope from his pocket.

"I hope there are some of Karen herself," Sophia said. "I've obviously been very jealous of her."

"Ah, she's quite attractive," he said, "but you needn't worry. We were friendly, no more."

"I'm teasing," Sophia said, taking the pictures from his hand. "That's her? Yes, she is attractive."

"She reminded me of you," Madari said, and she looked at him surprised. "I know, she doesn't look like you and of course, she was very different in many ways, so loud and, well, Australian. But she has the same confidence in herself that you have."

"You're not used to that in women."

"No. Aside from my grandmother, perhaps. "

"I'd have liked to have met that lady. From your stories, it sounds as if she skipped the lessons about deferring to the men."

"Yes indeed. She even kept Ahmed in line. To some extent."

She looked through more of the pictures. "That's the Brigadier? He's exactly what I pictured. Oh, is that Kibibi?"

"Yes, that's her."

"What a pretty little girl."

"Yes. I found it hard to say goodbye to her. Foolish of me, I know."

"Of course not!" She laid a hand on his arm. "You're a kind and rather sentimental man, however much you'd deny that. Of course you grew fond of her. I'm sure you'll miss her."

She looked at the rest of the pictures and then gave them back to him. As he put them away in the envelope, he knew he couldn't put this off any longer. Time for that talk.

"Sophia, it isn't your fault I went away. There were many reasons." He rubbed his forehead, recalling everything going on at the time, how scattered he'd felt. "I think I grabbed at the chance of some time away to deal with it all."

"Was I one of those reasons though? Because I stayed away in Italy for so long?"

When he looked at her, she held his gaze, not ashamed, not asking for his forgiveness. Just wanting to understand.

"Yes. You were. Your... new situation... I didn't know what you would expect of me when you came back."

"You thought I would expect you to marry me."

There, the word was out. A relief almost. Now they could talk.

"Is that what you expected?"

"I didn't so much expect it as fear it." She grimaced. "Oh, dear that sounds awful. Faris, I care so much for you. And I know you'd be a good husband. I, on the other hand, am not sure I'd be a good wife."

"Oh, Sophia, of course..."

"For a man like you, I mean. I know you're more liberal and modern than many of your countrymen. But by my standards you're very old fashioned. Don't get me wrong. I like that about you, it's part of your charm. But I think I would find it less charming in a husband than I do in a lover."

"I see."

"I shock you, don't I?"

"Yes." He smiled and cupped her cheek with his hand. "But that is part of your charm."

"And you would find it less charming in a wife than in a mistress."

"Most likely," he said. "There are more expectations on a married couple to conform."

"Exactly. And I like us the way we are."

"I do too. I meant what I said in my letter. I want to go on as before. Though I do worry that it looks insulting to you if I don't at least ask you to marry me. I worry what people will say."

"I'm not insulted. I know your motives," she said. "And I don't care about gossip. I know about things that the gossips only speculate about."

He blushed and looked down. "You mean about Kahil."

"Yes. I understand what role I play in your relationship with him. But I also know what you've promised me and that you're a man of honour."

It took him a while to answer her. How guilty should he be about what happened in Zaire? That had not been a dream, it had been real and it broke the promise he'd made to her. Yet their situation had been so strange at the time, he didn't even know if he and Sophia were still a couple. Anyway, it was in the past and it wouldn't happen again.

"Kahil and I have made promises too. I intend to keep them."

She nodded and leaned against him. He put his arm around her, trailing his fingers on the bare smooth skin. For a moment, he thought of Mr Haridi. If that man had had a woman like Sophia perhaps he could have stayed strong.

"I did miss you," she said. "I spent so long wondering what I would actually do if I came home and you proposed. I'm not sure I could have said no. Even if I had doubts, marrying you would be better than losing you entirely."

"I know that I couldn't stand to lose you," he said, and it was more than just reassurance. He had missed her, had thought of her often. Not only missing the pleasures of the time he spent with her, and the sex of course, but her presence in his life. Was this love? Could he love her, when he was in love with someone else? They had never said "I love you", to each other, and he didn't say it now, but he knew that she was an essential part of his life and he would be much poorer if he lost her.

Their relationship had started out calculating, on his part at least, but his feelings had grown deeper and more genuine since then. The strength of the pain their separation had caused him had surprised him.

"I'm home now," he said, not sure if he said it to her or himself. She smiled and moved closer to him, into his arms, turning her face up to his. He kissed her softly, and moved back.

"Welcome home, Faris." She stood up and took his hand, to lead him to her bedroom.

~~~

Returning from lunch, Jahni decided that though he still had paperwork to do, he needed to burn off some steam, before he took a flamethrower to that damn In tray.

Private Zahal had recently returned from doing Selection, and had probably never broken a sweat the whole time. Standing six-feet five and weighing at least a hundred pounds more than Jahni, a little sparring with him could be just what Jahni needed.

They faced each other on the mat.

"Remember those two hundred push ups I made you do because of that speck of dirt on your rifle?" Jahni said, grinning.

"I remember." Zahal had gone on to do fifty more - just for fun. Possibly not the best provocation.

"And those fifty laps of the barracks afterwards?" Now Zahal scowled. He only liked to run in short bursts. Like a shell. Jahni began to circle him and Zahal turned, tracking his movements.

"Yes, I remember. Sir."

"After today I won't be your commanding officer any more. So if you want to be able to say you gave your CO a good kicking, this is your last chance."

Zahal grinned and pounced, with more speed than a big man like him should be able to manage. Jahni soon began to wonder if this had been a good idea after all.

~~~

Madari lay with Sophia's head on his shoulder, one arm around her, her fingers trailing on his chest. In the warm room only a sheet covered them. He sighed and she looked up at him.

"Was that a sigh of satisfaction?"

"Oh, very much so." He brought his other hand across and stroked her hair, which was now limp and disarranged. "It was wonderful."

It surprised him how much his sexual frustration had built up during those months away. Yet, before he'd met Sophia, he'd gone for several years without sex and hadn't felt much frustration at all.

A side-effect of his mental state at the time, he supposed. Something that had changed in recent years. A good sign. Though dangerous too. If his libido had returned to normal levels, then it was more essential than ever that he had an outlet for that. An acceptable outlet. He glanced down at Sophia. His foreign mistress. Acceptable, if not terribly respectable in some circles.

Certainly more acceptable than Haridi's solution. Was Mr Haridi in love with someone? A man that he could never be with? When he picked up anonymous men at that sauna, did he dream of another face?

Sophia sat up and combed her fingers through her hair.

"Are you going somewhere?" Madari put his hand over hers as she moved to get out of bed.

"We can't stay in bed all day."

"I beg to differ."

She smiled at that and said, "Well, that sounds good to me, but first I want to take a shower."

"And that sounds good to me too."

~~~

The hot water eased Jahni's aching muscles after the sparring match with Zahal. He'd burnt off more than enough steam there. He'd be feeling it for days. Leaving the shower, he dried off quickly, dressed and left the officer's locker room. Zahal was just emerging from the men's locker room next door.

"Good workout, Private," Jahni said. "You'll have to teach me some of those moves."

"Yes, sir. Glad to, sir."

"Get back to the barracks room and get your kit ready," Jahni said. "My inspection is in thirty minutes."

"Yes, sir. Captain, it's been good to have you in charge."

"Thank you, Private. It's been valuable experience."

"I'll be happy to see the colonel back, got a lot of respect for the colonel, sir. But all the men say it's been interesting to have you running the show."

"Interesting, eh? Well I think that's good to hear. Dismiss, Private."

Zahal left and Jahni walked back to his office, trying to keep up his stern look despite the grin trying to break out on his face. That meant just as much as any good report from Colonel Rahama.

~~~

Madari came back into the bedroom, wearing his robe, to find Giotto had taken up residence on the bed. He lifted the cat off and shook out the sheet, let it settle slowly and smoothed it out, before dropping his robe and slipping back under it. It felt cool against his skin, which was still warm from the shower he'd shared with Sophia. Not put off by the eviction, Giotto jumped back onto the bed and let Madari hold him and scratch his head gently.

Like that first morning here, Madari thought. After the first night he and Sophia made love. Their relationship had come a long way since then. He smiled at her as she came in, carrying a tray with a of jug of iced water, two glasses and a gold coloured box with a red ribbon on it.

"Chocolates," she announced, setting the tray on the bed, before slipping out of her robe and getting back into bed. Madari put his arm around her as she took the lid off the chocolates and offered him one. The chocolates, the cat, her warm body pressed against his, skin to skin - a domestic scene of bliss.

He sighed with pleasure, utterly relaxed. This felt very different than those half dreaming afternoons lying on his bed at the lodge with Jahni. Even kissing and holding each other like that, he'd been tense, fearing they go further, beyond the limits they'd agreed too, constantly assessing his own strength and the power of the urges in him. His physical weakness kept them both safe then. Now as he lay with his woman he felt strong, his health restored and his urges indulged. So very different.

~~~

Jahni stalked along the line of cots, checking the neatly laid out kit and the men standing stiffly at attention. They were perfect, of course. His men always were. Like Madari he insisted on the best effort.

Still that didn't relieve his tension. He had no worries that Madari would find anything wrong when he returned tomorrow, and he was even very close to finishing all of his outstanding paperwork. So there'd be nothing but new work and Jahni's report in Madari's In tray. But still the tension wouldn't break.

He should finish up the last of that paperwork and go to the gym, he thought. Beat his personal best ten K on the treadmill. If that didn't help... should he go to a hotel bar tonight? There was a medical convention in town. The city was full of salesmen. And saleswomen.

No, he couldn't do that. When Madari had only just come home. They still had things to talk about, catch up on. But would Madari spend the evening with Sophia? He must be with her right now...

Dismissing that thought, Jahni moved on through the unit's barracks, training rooms, ready room, equipment stores, rec room, the gym, everything ship-shape and ready for Madari's inspection in the morning. It was almost four in the afternoon when he completed the inspection.

"Sergeant," he addressed the man who'd accompanied him. "I'm going back to my office. Please see to it that the men and facilities are in this good a condition for the colonel's inspection tomorrow."

"Yes, sir. I'm sure I can find them something else to polish, sir."

Jahni smiled. Of course. A sergeant could always find the men work to do. He dismissed the man and went back to his office.

"Could you call Colonel Rahama, please," his clerk said, passing him some other messages as he sat down. Jahni called right away, Rahama's secretary putting him through.

"Ah, Captain Jahni," Rahama said, "I just wanted to see if you're free this evening for a small dinner party. I understand if you're not, at such short notice. But my wife insists we must celebrate Colonel Madari's return. She was quite annoyed with me for not thinking of it myself." He chuckled. "I'm not sure where the ladies come up with all of these special rules."

"I'd be happy to come, sir."

"Excellent. Nine o'clock then. We won't be formal. If I have to wear a stiff collar any later than six o'clock I become quite irritable. Do you know if Faris has his mobile telephone with him? I do need to invite the guest of honour."

"No, sir, his phone is here in his desk."

"Ah. I've tried him at home, but he must be out."

"I think he's... at a friend's house."

Rahama paused for a beat and then said, "Ah yes, of course. I'll try him there. Thank you, Captain, see you tonight."

He knows about Sophia, Jahni thought. Well of course, it was hardly a secret. She had even been to parties at Rahama's home. Usually the larger parties though, not the small intimate ones. So would she be there tonight?

Well, he'd see. It would be an interesting development. An acknowledgement, on both sides. And Rahama's wife probably had the deciding vote there. So that filled Jahni's evening at least. But he'd still go to the gym before he went home to change. Tension still churned his insides.

~~~

Sophia was at the party with Madari, along with several other senior officers and their wives. Jahni was not only the most junior officer there, he also the only man unaccompanied by a woman. He lurked by the table of hors-d'ouvres until Madari escaped from the other officers and came over to him, smiling, and they shook hands.

"Hello, Kahil. I'm sorry, I got caught up before I could come over. Have you had a busy day?"

"Why do you ask that?" He put on an innocent look. "You can't be accusing me of getting behind on paperwork, or allowing the men to be sloppy with their quarters and kit, can you?"

"My apologies," Madari said, a teasing tone of his own in his voice. "I don't know what I was thinking. I know how much you love paperwork."

"I'm thinking of requesting more, to break up all those dull training and exercise sessions."

Madari laughed at that. How relaxed and well he looked. Better than yesterday. Of course he'd had some sleep now.

"What about you?" Jahni asked. "Busy day?"

"Oh just relaxing at Sophia's." They both glanced over at her, talking to Rahama and his wife. Interesting. She was here with Madari. Not just as another guest at the same party, as she had been on previous occasions. Was she more respectable as Madari's mistress now that she was a widow than she had been as another man's wife?

Did her being foreign make a difference? Everyone knew they had different standards. Something that might be a scandal involving a local woman was ignored in a foreign one. People expected them to be different. Jahni certainly did. When he went to the hotel bars he never even thought to try to approach an Arab woman, should it be likely one would be there alone.

"Kahil?" Madari said. "Are you awake in there?"

Jahni shook himself from his thoughts. "Sorry," he said. "So, um..." Tread carefully now. There were limits, even with a friendship as intimate as theirs. "Did you and Sophia sort everything out?"

Madari looked more serious. Not gloomy, as if things had gone badly. More a suitably serious expression for a serious subject.

"Yes, we did. We'll be going on as before for now."

"For now?"

"Well, who knows what might happen in the future?"

"Women are fickle," Jahni said.

"I believe there's a famous aria to that effect," Madari said, smiling. Jahni shrugged. Opera had never been an interest of his. "But," Madari went on, "not really in this case. She's the one who wants things to continue as before. So she's not fickle at all."

"I'm glad," he told Madari, and meant it. Though an unworthy part of him still wished they would split up, mostly he was glad for them to continue as before. Their relationship as it stood suited him as much as it suited them. If she didn't want to change it after as huge a disruption in her life as her husband's death then he could be sure she wasn't going to turn around and change it on a whim later. And it suited the new rules he and Madari they'd established for themselves and their own relationship.

After dinner the guests sat outside on the terrace, paper lanterns attracting moths, and sipped their coffee. The ladies stayed with them, since everyone wanted to hear more stories of Madari's time in Africa. Jahni knew he must be censoring some of those stories. He'd hardly tell mixed company the details about the horrible accusations he was there to report on. Mostly he told them stories about amusing incidents, or funny characters he'd met there.

Of course he talked about the little girl Kibibi a lot, and then brought out the photographs of her and his other friends. Jahni caught Madari's eye and gave him a 'you're carrying those around' look. Madari returned it with a sheepish smile.

"Oh, what a pretty child," Madame Rahama said when the pictures came around to her and her husband.

"Quite delightful," Rahama agreed. He was a soft touch for children, Jahni was quite aware. "You must bring her over for a visit sometime, Faris. I look forward to spoiling her."

"Perhaps he should have brought her home permanently," one of the other officers said, chuckling. The men – except Jahni – chuckled at that, but Madame Rahama spoke up.

"I'm sure Colonel Madari would make a good father." She glanced at Sophia as she said it and Sophia's eyes went wide for a moment. She didn't respond though, sipped her coffee instead. Not for the first time Jahni wondered about her age. It was a little hard to gauge, he'd never seen her without make-up and he assumed she coloured her hair, so couldn't tell how much grey she had. But she wasn't old enough that she couldn't have children, was she? He wondered if Madari knew her age. That was silly. He must do.

The parents in the group fell to talking about the joys of having children then and Jahni noticed that while Madari took a lot of interest in their stories, Sophia appeared uncomfortable. Did she feel judged? To still be childless at her age would be considered quite odd locally. Although they made allowances for the strangeness of foreigners around here, still, could she help but feel judged?

She must have noticed his gaze as she looked up and caught his eye and she gave him a small, wan smile that he returned. If she did feel judged, he understood that. People still raised their eyebrows at him when he confessed to the shame of being unmarried. 'A handsome young Royal Guard officer like you, still a bachelor?' they said. And he knew the silent follow up question was 'what's wrong with you?'

If they only knew.