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"We were starting to
think you'd skipped out and left us with the bill," Karen said, when
Madari and Jahni returned to the table. "I'm sorry,"
Madari said. "Just having a cigar." He glanced at his watch.
"I think I'll ask for the bill now anyway. I know Kahil is rather
tired." They split up outside.
Jahni took Karen in his car, to drop her at her hotel and Madari hoped he'd
take the advice to at least declare an interest. Meanwhile, he took Sophia
home. She seemed a little frosty as they pulled away from the restaurant. Was
she annoyed with him for leaving her alone with Karen while and Jahni talked?
No, that wouldn't bother her. Was she worried about what they were doing or
saying out there? She'd probably be amazed to know what the subject had
actually been. "So, Faris, when are
you going to have business cards printed up for your new sideline as a
matchmaker?" Ah, perhaps she wouldn't
be all that surprised. "I don't know what
you mean." "Don't play dumb. I
think when you get home Cupid may have thrown a brick through your window as
a warning against horning in on his turf." He sighed. Had his
attempts been less subtle than he'd hoped? "I just want to see
Kahil find happiness with a good woman." He glanced at her with a smile.
"As I have." She didn't respond to the
unsubtle buttering up attempt, and spoke quietly. "To put him beyond
your reach?" "I'd think you'd be
pleased about that," he snapped back, and then bit his lip, regretting
the tone. The relationship between himself, Sophia and Jahni was...
complicated. It wasn't fair to accuse her of simply being a jealous woman.
"I'm sorry," he said, after an awkward silence. "I didn't mean
that." "Faris, Kahil is not
you. If he wanted to deal with your situation in the same way you have, then
he'd have a queue of ladies lining up to help out." "He would?" "Of course he would.
He's a decorated hero, and please don't try to pretend you don't notice how
handsome he looks in his uniform." Madari blushed, glad the
darkness hid that. "Um, I see." "But he hasn't
chosen that route. Please, Faris, just let him be. He has to find his own way
of coping." "What if he
can't?" Madari said it so quietly he didn't know if he asked her or
himself. "What if there's no way for him to be happy?" "Are you
happy?" Sophia asked, taking Madari aback, leaving him unsure how to
answer. Honestly, he decided. "No." That felt
so stark he wanted to qualify it. "That isn't just about... him and...
It's about other things. But being with you makes me less unhappy than I
would be." And would that be all that Karen would be to Jahni? A
comfort. A distraction. But never his happiness. Even if they had children
together? "We both know the
only circumstances where you two could be happy, but they aren't going to
happen." He realised she was looking at him with pity and distress in
her eyes. "That's not fair, but it's life and you have to cope the way
that's best for you." He drove on in silence
for a few minutes, then said, "Are you happy, Sophia?" She thought for a long
time, until he believed she wasn't going to answer. Then she spoke quietly. "I am content."
~~~
"Still pretty early,
isn't it?" Karen said, looking at the dashboard clock as Jahni drove
towards her hotel. "Why don't we go dancing again?" "I'm too
tired," Jahni said and mentally heard Madari scold him for missing an
opportunity to start 'declaring his interest'. That made him grimace. For a
romantic man, Madari could talk in a very unromantic way sometimes. "I was on duty last
night," he added. "I got some sleep this afternoon, but not enough.
Maybe we could go out tomorrow night?" "Great," she
said. "Just you and me? I mean I love the colonel, and Sophia is a
sweetie, but just the two of us would be nice too." Wait, was she actually
declaring an interest in him? Jahni glanced over to see her looking at him in
the dark interior of the car, with what looked like an appreciative
expression. "I suppose we could
still go for a drink," he suggested. "How about at your
place? I'd love to see your flat." He held in a gasp at the
bold proposal. An Arab woman certainly wouldn't suggest that. His voice
squeaked slightly when he spoke again and he had to clear his throat. "It's nothing
special, but if you want to see it, then of course." He glanced around
and got his bearings for the route to take, away from her hotel and towards
his flat now. Okay, calm down, he
thought. Don't make assumptions. Yes, the foreign women are more forward
about these things, but be careful not to insult her. He'd let her make the
running until he felt more sure of what she wanted. "You have a lot of
security," she said, looking at the serious locks and bolts on the door
as he let her in. "I have a lot of
enemies," he said. "Though of course, a lot of them are dead or in
prison." She giggled at that.
"You're a tough guy, aren't you?" "I've been called
that. I've got some wine in the kitchen. Red okay for you?" "Sure. You drink
then?" She followed him into the kitchen where he found corkscrew, wine
and glasses. "I'm not as devout a
Muslim as Faris." "Is the colonel all
that devout?" "What do you
mean?" Jahni started twisting the screw into the cork. "I didn't see him
praying all that often, out in Zaire I mean. Or reading his Koran. He was
always wearing those prayer beads though, so I don't know." Prayer beads? "Amber
beads on a wristband?" "Yeah, he wore them
most of the time." Jahni grinned and pulled
the cork with a satisfying pop. Wore them most of the time, eh?
"Well, he's a believer," he said, remembering her original
question. "But everyone has different degrees of practice." "Okay," she
said, with a shrug. "Come on and pour, I'm parched." "Shouldn't we let it
breathe?" Jahni objected as she pushed the glasses towards him. "Wine's for drinking
not breathing." That made him smile and
he shrugged and poured the wine, and handed her a glass. "Okay, give me the
tour," she said. It hardly took a long
time. For the first time he felt slightly embarrassed about his small and
simple flat. "I know it's not
very fancy for a Royal Guard officer," he explained. "But I'm
hardly ever in it, and I'm not one for entertaining." "Hey, if it suits
you, it's fine," she said. "Nice little bachelor pad." Yes. As a married man of
course he'd be expected to have a house, with children's rooms... God, he was
worse than Madari. His cosy, low-maintenance flat suited him fine. He really
didn't entertain; Madari was the only regular guest. Sophia had been here all
of twice that he could recall. It was his sanctum. They took their wine into
the living room after the short tour and he invited her to sit. Should he sit
beside her on the sofa, or take a chair? But the way she sat, one leg tucked
up, turned to the side, she was clearly inviting him to sit beside her. Okay
then. He sat. Not too close. But close enough for her to reach out and touch
his arm without having to stretch. "I'll have to leave
in a couple of days," she said. "Got to report for duty." Between the strangeness
of a woman talking about having to report for duty and her touching him, he
wasn't sure how to answer. "Okay," he
managed. She sighed and shook her
head. "I can't read you, Kahil. You're pretty closed off. I can't tell
if you're interested or not." "Interested in
what?" he said and cursed his own denseness. What did he think she was
referring to? Stamp collecting? Keeping tropical fish? "Oh, sorry. Yes
of course I'm interested." She smiled. "You're
not the world's best flirt." Depends on who I'm
flirting with, he thought, blushing to recall some of the flirting he'd done,
either conscious of what he was doing or unconscious. Now that he should be
doing it consciously, it was coming as naturally to him as playing the
trombone came to a duck. "I'm more a
straight-talker," he lied. "Me too," she
said. "But sometimes, even I don't want to talk." She put her glass
down and moved closer and he caught the hint quickly enough then. He put his
own drink down and let her come into his arms, bending his head to kiss her. When they broke after a
second she opened her eyes. "That was nice. I thought it would be."
She smiled. "I never kissed a man who's passed Selection before." He chuckled. But it made
him think of something else. She knew who he was. None of those other women
did. Suddenly that mattered. At times in the hotels he even used a false
name. At the most he told them only his given name. But she knew his name,
his rank, all of it. And if they made love now, it would be in his bed. He
glanced at the door. He'd never had sex in that bed. Was that strange? No,
this was his sanctum after all. Strangers couldn't come here. But Karen was
his friend. He took her in his arms
again, ran his hand down her side to her waist, fingers spreading wide over
firm flesh. Leaning in, she closed her eyes and he kissed her again, taking
the time to relish the scent of her this time. Expensive scents from the
beauty parlour and spa Sophia had taken her to. Her hand stroked through his
hair and his free hand moved back up her body to touch her breast, making her
sigh against him. His body started to react strongly and he moved closer
again, pushing her back on the sofa. "Hang on," she
said. "Don't want to crush this too much." She meant her clothes,
the linen would crease badly. Should he say it? Would
she think it too forward? But she'd made the first move. She hadn't pushed
him off when he touched her breast. So he dared himself to take the chance
and said it. "We can move to the
bedroom." She held his face between
her hands and kissed him quickly. "Good plan." In there she pulled the
kameez off quickly herself, revealing a silk camisole underneath, before
coming back into his arms, still standing. They moved slowly towards the bed,
almost as if they were dancing, but neither was in any rush. If this was to
turn into some kind of long-term thing, then Jahni had to make an impression
on her. A quickie wouldn't do, not if he wanted her to come back from
Australia for more. Did he want that? He
wanted her now, his blood pumped, his skin flushed, and he was already
aroused. But what about later? He laid her down on the bed and slid off her
loose fitting trousers, revealing shapely, well-tanned legs. His mouth went dry at the
sight of her, wearing only the skimpy camisole and tiny white briefs. His
head spun and he had to join her quickly on the bed, fearing he'd fall if he
didn't. That he was aroused by her didn't surprise him, but the intensity of
it did. He'd always sought out more obviously feminine women, rather like
Sophia really, because, well, that's what women were meant to be like. It shocked him that
Karen's lean and athletic body should be such a turn on for him. He wouldn't
call her manly, but neither was she full-hipped or large-breasted. And yet he
wanted her so badly that, when he gave in to his surging desire, he no longer
had any thought in his mind but possessing that superb body. ~~~
"I should go back to
my hotel," Karen said, sitting up in bed. Jahni stirred from a doze
beside her and rubbed his hand on her naked back. "You don't have to
go." "Don't want to start
a scandal." More like help prevent
one, Jahni thought, if someone saw her leaving his flat early in the morning.
After the whole Haridi story broke he'd wondered sometimes if anyone ever
followed or watched him or Madari. She got out of bed and
strolled naked to the bathroom. Hearing the shower running, Jahni raised his
arms over his head and knew he had a ridiculous smile on his face. That had
been... interesting. If anyone ever asked him what Australian women were like
the first word that came to mind would be "uninhibited." So what now? This wasn't
supposed to be about getting a one night stand. Hell, he hadn't even expected
it to happen. He was supposed to 'declare an interest'. He'd done that all
right. So had she. So where did they go now? If she was a local woman he'd be
morally obliged to offer marriage at this point, but suspected Karen would
consider that to be moving a bit too fast. She came back in with a
towel around her, the ends of her hair wet and sticking to her shoulders. The
waves had fallen out of her hair, but that didn't detract from how good she
looked. Searching around the room, she collected up her scattered clothes. "Bloody hell,"
she said, looking at the kameez and the trousers. "I should iron these
before I go. Looks like I rolled them in a ball and shoved them in a
backpack." "Karen," he
said. "Can we talk?" "Okay. What's on
your mind, tough guy?" she said, coming over to the bed and sitting
beside him. He sat up at once, unable to resist drawing her into his arms,
smelling the scent of his own soap on her freshly showered skin. Had to be
said, he never smelled that good with it. "You'll be gone
soon," he said. "I just want us to be clear about where we
stand." "Oh, don't worry,"
she said. "I don't consider us engaged or anything." "Oh, no, of course
not, I just thought... we should stay in touch." "Definitely!" "Maybe you'll come
back, or if I could visit you." "That'd be
great." She looked at him, frowning. "Kahil, you're not... I dunno,
thinking this makes us a couple now, are you?" "No, of course
not," he said, moving back from her just a little. Oh hell, had he
miscalculated here? He'd made certain assumptions about what she wanted,
about why she wanted to go to bed with him. Had he been wrong? "I've never been any
good at the long distance thing. And Australia's a really long distance from
here." She shrugged. "And of course, I'm always moving about."
"That's true."
He pulled away in his mind too, from this ridiculous idea. It wasn't even his
idea, it was Madari's. Just how far would he go to please Madari? Would he
marry a woman to please the man he loved? How insane was that question
anyway? "Kahil, you're
really gorgeous, and I hoped we might get spend some time together, but I
don't think I led you to believe I had anything else in mind." "No, you didn't.
It's fine. This was great." He shouldn't be
surprised. Western women were different. He knew that. They thought nothing
of pursuing sex in a way the local women he was brought up with never would.
Why had he expected Karen to be any different? "Well, I'd better
get a wiggle on," she said, getting up again. He let her go. Damn. He'd missed the
boat somehow. Should he have played harder to get and kept her interested in
coming back later? Now he'd missed what might have been an opportunity to try
to make this whole situation at least more bearable. Madari would think him
an idiot. Madari didn't have to know about it. If he asked, Jahni would be
properly evasive, as a man should be about such matters, even to his most
intimate friend. As he watched her dress,
he knew one thing for sure - he'd miss that body. ~~~
Karen left two days later
on an evening flight, Madari and Jahni seeing her off at the airport. She and
Jahni had spent some time together, including in bed, since that first night.
But she hadn't changed her mind about the relationship progressing no
further. She'd be happy to see him again, she'd said, as a friend, but made
it clear that they were not a couple. "Safe journey, my
dear," Madari said, handing her some sweets and a book of puzzles he'd
bought her for the trip. Jahni gave her a couple of magazines, and more
sweets. "Oh, you fellas are
too nice," she said, smiling as she took the gifts. "That will help
keep me going. Okay, I'll drop you a line when I get home. It's been great to
be here." "I hope we'll all be
together again soon," Madari said, glancing at Jahni, who looked away.
Did he expect Jahni to hand over a wedding invitation now? A few more words
of goodbye and she was gone, disappearing through security and into the
departures lounge. "Why don't we
-" Madari began, but Jahni cut him off. "No, I don't want a
coffee. I'm a little bored with this airport. Let's just get out of
here." Madari stared at him, taken aback, but then nodded. "Actually,"
Madari said, as they stepped out of the terminal doors. "There is one
thing I'd like to do." He led Jahni across the road to a small parade of
shops and businesses catering to the traveller, like car rentals, money
exchanges, hotel bookings. But Madari led Jahni to the small shop with
'Barber' painted on the window. He smiled at Jahni's surprised look. "I
think it's time for the beard to go." The shop was quiet, the
barber and his apprentice sweeping up, perhaps about to close, but they
didn't turn away business. Jahni supposed he might as well have his hair
trimmed while he was here and took a seat next to Madari, watching the man
shave him. It bothered him. While he
could take or leave the beard, he knew Sophia didn't like it. So was Madari
shaving it off for her sake? Was he moving closer to her? With their new vow
to keep their relationship proper, normal, then Madari had no reason not to grow
closer to her. Replacing the intimacy lost with Jahni with a new level of
intimacy with her. And what choice did they
have? They couldn't go on as they had been living before. Always on a knife
edge of fear that they'd lose control. Were there other choices? He looked
out of the window across to the entrance to the terminal. Yes, there were
choices. They could walk out of here, get on a plane and go somewhere...
else. Anywhere that they could be together and safe. Europe. America.
Australia. But looking at the
airport also reminded him of his work. The battle to take the airport during
the restoration. The hijacking he'd broken here. Those memories reminded him
of his duty, to the king, the regiment and to himself, to his career. Madari,
Rahama and the king had all invested so much in him. They had such high
expectations of him - as indeed he had of himself. He sighed and wanted to
groan as he sat back in the barber's chair. Is this what it felt like to be
wrenched apart six different ways in some kind of barbaric execution? To be
shredded inside? Drawn and quartered? Madari looked at him in
the mirror and Jahni realised he must be letting his distress show too much
on his face as Madari's expression grew concerned and he turned to look at
Jahni. "Are you all right,
Kahil?" "I'm fine." The barber had paused
when Madari moved and Jahni waved at him to keep going. "I'm fine," he
repeated and watched the barber finish the job. As the beard fell, Jahni grew
more and more gloomy. But suddenly, Madari sat up, his face clean shaven
again, smiling at Jahni, and Jahni saw the same face, the same smile as
before he went to Africa. The same man. Jahni smiled back and
this time he meant it when he said, "I'm fine." end
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© E Charles 2009